Louisa Catherine Johnson to John Quincy Adams, May 19, 1797

London May 19 th 1797

Although it is probable you will have quitted the Hague, e’re this
can reach you, I cannot help answering your very kind letters, and flattering myself,
that they will not arrive too late— I yesterday recieved yours, of the 6 th , which I cannot say gave me satisfaction, as it confirmed
my fears of your not returning—

I am sorry my best, and dearest friend, you should ever feel a
moments uneasiness, on my account, and would most willingly suffer any thing, to relieve
your mind from anxiety—but indeed my Adams, I think we meet with difficulties, and
disappointments, enough without anticipating them— Excuse
me if I say, it appears to me very unreasonable, to embitter the few moments of
happiness within our reach, by permiting ourselves to indulge unpleasant, and
disagreeable conjectures— Life is short, and admits not of much real felicity, therefore
we ought not to reject the good that offers, by watching for evil, but thankfully accept
it, with gratitude to the giver of all good—

You have accustomed me to write my sentiments without reserve, and
to you who possess my whole confidence, I would not wish to conceal a thought, it would
be an affectation of delicacy in me, to deny how much I wished to accompany you, yes my
beloved friend, I most sincerely wish it was possible, believe me, no trifling obstacle
should prevent me, yet if it is attended with any inconvenience to you, I am the last
person on earth to desire it, your letters all tend to convince me, that this is the
case, and I have relinquished the pleasing hope of our meeting, I acknowledge it has
cost me some pain, but I have conquered my feelings, and trust I have succeeded so far, as to enable me to hear of your departure, without much regret—

One year my best friend, is almost elapsed since we parted— may the
next be more propitious to us than this has been, but alas, I much fear, that many must
pass ere I shall experience the delight of beholding you—when I think on this subject my
friend, my fortitude almost forsakes me—

Adieu, all here desire their love— that you may enjoy health, and
happiness, is the constant, and earnest prayer / of your tenderly attached,

Louisa C. Johnson