John Jay to John Tabor Kempe, 2 January 1772
[New York 2 d . Jan y . 1771[2]] 1
Sir
The Receipt of your Letter 2 should have been acknowledged before had I not been out of Town when it was delivered.
If by withholding an Explanation you mean to punish me for a Defe supposed Defect in Constitution, or Inaccuracy in Mode of Expression, you certainly Sir! fix your Resentment on Objects too triffling to merit serious Severity. To think with Freedom & to speak with Sincerity I knew often trespassed on Form & punctilious Refinement, but I did not apprehend it would have given Offence to a Gentleman who I Imagined would attend more to Things than the Names by which they are called.
Your never having ^ met ^ with such an Address before, does not surprize me. I believe few of the Profession have–for however otherways divided, they have generally been uniform in Matters of Business. Another Hour devoted to Reflection would have reminded you, that whenever a Gentlemans Conduct is misunderstood, it is his Duty to explain it, not merely as a Compliment to those who may ask it, but as a piece of Justice to his own Reputation; nor should it be forggotten that Dignity can recieve no Support from Evasions, or be increased by Behaveour which renders Innocence suspected.
I cannot concur with you in thinking, that the Warmth I have shewn should not have been excited by the occasion which gave Rise to it. I deny not that I was warm, or, if you please, that I am warm still. Warmth excited by Attacks on Reputation, or inspired by a Sense of indelicate Treatment will never be blamed by those who are more under the Influence of Good Nature than a Desire of discovering Motes 3 in a Neighbours Eye. Insensibility to Injuries never characterized an honest Man–
When you recollect that at the Time I first became engaged or rather retained in the Cause of the Parish of Jamaica, I was but just stepping into the World–a Season critical to a young Man. That you was informed of my being concerned by M r . DLancey 4 who was then your Clerk. That you nevertheless avoided all Conversation with me upon the Subject; that after the Bill was filed a Demurrer was put in–Hearings appointed, Consultations had–arguments framed, Objections considered without my being privy to or having Notice of either–That tho you was reminded by M r . Duane of my being employed, you have never deigned to apologize for the omission, or correct the Mistake, if a Mistake it was–That these repeated Neglects tended to lessen me in the opinion of my Client & others, deprived me of an Opportunity of appearing in a Cause of great Consequence and much Expectation, from the merely being concerned in which a young man is often raised in the eye Estimation of the World–That all this was done & transacted deliberately unprovoked, nay while the very Smiles of Friendship appeared on your Countenance–I say when you recollect these Things I am astonished you should complain of a little Warmth, or expect I would rest satisfied with presenting you a little cold Remonstrance with humble Deffrence supplicating an Explanation.
You are amased at my acting as if I thought your Conduct proceeded from Design. I am really amased that you are–What other Construction does it bear? Upon what other Principles is it explicable?–
A Rupture with you Sir! would be very disagreable to me; but I had rather reject the Friendship of the World than purchase it by Patience under Indignities offered by any Man in it–However I still hope to recieve that Satisfaction from an Explanation, which I should be sorry to seek from a less friendly Source–I am Sir your hble Serv t !
John Jay