John Adams to Thomas Boylston Adams, October 17, 1799

Trenton October 17. 1799

Sir

I received last night your favour of the 15 th , the Sentiments and expressions of which are
Such as cannot fail to render your Character Prosperity and Happiness more
dear to me than ever.

An Office must be procured, and the Price or Rent must
not be an Obstacle. I had rather pay for you a high Rent than you should not
have an Office in Market or Chesnut Street.

Your Brothers Observations concerning the Confidence
between Parents and Children require many restrictions, distinctions and
Limitations. This great Relation and its Duties is a subject of too much
magnitude for a Letter. The source of Revolution, Democracy, &
Jacobinism in my opinion, has been a systematical dissolution of the true
Family Authority. There can never be any regular Government of a Nation,
without a marked Subordination of Mothers and Children to the Father. This
Opinion is a Secret between you and me.— if you divulge it to any one, it
will soon be known to all, and will infallibly raise a Rebellion against me.
You may think I am returning Levity for Levity. But We shall understand one
another more fully hereafter upon this subject.

Venere et Vino abstinuit, has been a trait in the
Character of every real
great Man I ever knew or read of.— 1 The Votaries of Bacchus and Venus
never rise above Mediocrity and most commonly grovel on the ground. Minerva
alone can conduct to Wisdom and her fruits. The Institution of Cyrus, &
Telemachus are school Books, which because they lie upon the Shelf or the
Table and are thumbed, from our Infancy at times and in parcells We suppose
We have read: but very few have ever really read them. The Fable of the
Choice of Hercules by Prodicus preserved by Xenophon in his memorabilia of
Socrates, is a divine Morcel. Siluis Italicus has applied it to Scipio, in
very elegant Latin Poetry. 2 Your classical Taste will be highly gratified by a Perusal of all these.

If I were a young Man I should endeavour to find a young
Wife, who would not be likely by her Fancies to send me to Prison for her
debts, but I think nothing but a Necessity of going to Prison for my own
debts without a Marriage of an Old Woman, though she were rich would induce
me to think of it. The Conduct of Phœbe’s Husband therefore would not be an
Object of Imitation for me. 3

I have been young and know how tender ’tis to love. I
have never dictated to my Children. Perhaps it would have been better in two
Instances, if I had.— I wish them to Use a prudent Consideration, and not be
led away by a very wild but a very fickle and transeint passion to take a
step which they never can tread back, without being discr[…] sure that it
does not lead to ruin.

With every sentiment of Kindness / I am &c

John Adams