Abigail Adams to John Quincy Adams, January 29, 1801

Washington Jan’ ry 29
1801—

my Dear Son

Your Brother Thomas has performed the painfull office of
announcing to You the Death of Your Brother Charles, with what a weight of
Sorrow is my bosom opprest. when I reflect, that he was cutt down in the
bloom of Life, in the midst of his days, he is numberd with the Dead; it
becomes me in Silence to mourn; Mourn over him living, I have for a long
time, and now he is gone.— the tender
remembrance of what he once was rises before me, and I wish to forget. I
wish to Draw a veil over all those propencities, which have rung my Heart,
with unutterable pang’s. I would hope, that from that Throne of Sovereign
Mercy, where I have often besought it for him, he may have obtaind
forgiveness— think of him my son with the compassion of a Brother, and if
you are permitted to return to your native Country, be a Father to the
little Girl who bears My Name— the other I have taken, and if My Life is
spared, I Mean to bring her up.— the Mother has no means of support but that
which she derives from her Friend’s she is amiable and worthy: I can lay no
blame to her Charge. she attended with constant and unwearied Solisititude,
to the last Scene. His sickness was short, his constitution was undermined;
his sufferings were severe, his patience under them was great. a dropsey in
his Chest was the cause of his Dissolution; I knew not that he was sick:
indeed he had not been more than a week confined, when I arrived in November
at New york, on My way to this city; I went to see him but You May judge of
My feelings, when I saw that his case was desperate, tho he entertaind no
Idea himself that it was so, but he Survived only a fortnight. he was at
Lodgings. Your sister Smith who had spent the Summer with me, returnd to
NYork when I did. she removed him immediatly, and every kind care and
Sisterly attention was shown him, both from the col. & herself— the
removal of him, was all the releaf, all the consolation I could derive; I
came to this city with a heavey Heart; in daily expectation of his Death,
which took place on the first of December; My Residence in this city, has
not Served to endear the world to me. to private and domestick Sorrow, is
added a prospect of publick Calamity for our Country. the Spirit of Party
has overpowerd the spirit of Patriotism. the Intrigue of one Man, and the
dissapointed ambition of an other has divided the strength of the Country,
and thrown into the antifederal scale the weight of Numbers; this Change has
been produced by the practise of all those low arts of calumny, and
falshood, which are the weapons of unprincipled Men, and the power of
faction. the corrupt and infatuated Members of it, have acted without any
regard to right, or wrong, and the question with them has been who shall
Govern, not how they shall be governed; If as is expected a total Change of
Men, and measures follow, universal confusion will be the concequence. The
Election is not yet determined, for two candidates being equal, the House of
Representitives must decide; if they stear from scylla, they must be wrecked
upon Charibdis— what is before us Heaven only
know’s time only can unfold— that ingratitude was considerd by the Athenians
as a sin; we are told could Athens produce stronger instances, than are to
be found in our Country? you can trace the train of My thoughts, when You
consider the wise and judicious administration of our Government for the
last 12 years— when You view it rising in power at home, and respectability
abroad, acquiring wealth, and oppulence daily; who but must lament, that
this fair prospect is vanishing like the baseless fabrick of a vision— 1 it would require a vol’m
instead of a single Letter, to unfold to you, all the Machinations which
have combined to produce this Change in the Administration; honest Men have
been cheated, and duped. ambitious Men have Seen themselves, and their plots
discoverd, and counteracted, by a watchfullness which they could not elude;
and were therefore determined to get rid off, at any hazard; If you received
a Letter I wrote you, just before I left Quincy, it will Serve you, in some
measure as a clue to the objects of a certain
Party call’d the Essex Junto. 2 but a Pamphlet written by Hamilton concerning the public conduct &
Character of John Adams President of the United States, and which I presume
has been sent You, will More fully display the falshood and Malignity of the
Anglo Federalist. 3 from this
pamphlet however the Author has not acquired more fame, or reputation than
he did from the precious confession of an other; to Burr is the merrit due,
with the antifederal Party for turning the Election of N york in their
favour. to Burr then will that party owe their President, provided mr
Jefferson is chosen—and this was a bargain and sale buisness!! is it not
sufficent to give every considerate, and reflecting person a surfeit of
Elective Governments, when in this young Country, and thus early such proffs
appear of corruption and want of principle?—

I turn from this disgusting object to one nearer My
Heart, I Mean the return of My dear Son to his family and Friends My last
letter was full upon this Subject; tho it will be urksome to you to return
with such prospects opening before You; I presume You will not feel as tho
You could remain abroad;

I expect to take a final leave of this city next week,
and return to Quincy; could I be assured that the remainder of my days might
be passed in Peace and quietness, I should have reason to rejoice in a
liberation from public Life; The President retains his Health, and his
spirits beyond what you could imagine; he has the conscienceouss of having
served his Country with pure intentions: with upright views and from the
most disinterested motives, as his own pecuniary affairs manifest. tho free from
debts, or embarressments of that nature; his income will oblige us to a
strickt oeconomy, in order to preserve that independance upon which our
future tranquility rests— I repine not, at any of the allotments, or
dispensations of Providence; we have been a scatterd family if some of my
Children could now be collected round the parent Hive it appears to me, that
it would add Much to the happiness of our declining Years.— Thomas has
determined to remain in Pennsilvana he is the joy of our Hearts. his conduct
in all respects, is prudent and judicious I think it not unlike, that the
state he has chosen for his residence, may become under the new
administration such a hot bed of turbulence and Sedition as to induce him to
change his Quarters.— Some recent Changes have taken place in the public
offices— Mr Wolcot has resignd, and Mr Dexter is appointed in his place; Mr
Marshall is appointed chief Justice of the United States in the Room of Mr
Elsworth, resignd. Mr Griswold is this day nominated in the place of mr
Dexter, Secretary of War. 4 no
Secretary of state is yet nominated and I cannot say that any will be; it is
difficult to get such gentlemen as are esteemed proper, to accept offices
from which they may be removed in the course of a few week’s— Yet in the
present critical State of the Country when it is undetermined, and
altogether uncertain, which of the candidates will be our future President,
or whether there will be any Election at all, the President has thought it
best to fill up the offices with such men as are fit, and capable of
dischargeng the Duties of them in any event; If they are to be removed; let
the world see how they will again be filled

I have not any Letter from You of a later date than july
11 th I have Seen Letters from Louissa to her
Father in August and to the 5 of sep’ br. 5 Your Brother has Letters of
as late a date from You which have been a source of much entertainment to
me; I have very little cause to accuse You of not Writing to me. I have
myself been very deficient. tell Louissa that her Family are all
well-situated about one mile from the Presidents house, but such a quagmire
between, that our intercourse is much impeeded. Caroline has had a long fit
of sickness a Nervious fever from which she has so far recoverd as to have
spent one Day with me. I expect the Family all to dine with me on saturday
for the last time. col smith is now in an office which affords him and his
Family a handsome support. 6 My Mind is easier upon their account. Mr W Cranch will do very well here. he
is appointed one of the city Commissoners— My paper obliges me to conclude
Your truly affectionate / &c &c