[A Letter to William Crawford Telling “How I Live,” October 1758.]
How it is with you I know not, but if I am rightly informed, I am yet alive and not dead. And to prove it to you, I will tell you how I live. I sleep, 12 or 13 Hours, Smoke 10 or 12 Pipes, read 5 or 6 Pages, think of 19 or 20 Ideas, and eat 3 or 4 Meals, every 24 Hours. I have either mounted above or sunk below, I have not Penetration enough to say which, all Thoughts of Fame, Fortune, or even Matrimony. You must not conclude from all this, that I am in the Vapours. Far otherwise. I never was in much better Health, or higher Spirits in my Life. Both my mind and Body are in a very easy situation, tortu [red] with no Pain, disturbed by no Anxiety, and transported with no Pleasure. The strongest Desire I have left, is that of seeing my frie [nds] at Worcester, < But when or how that desire will be gratified, I know not. > and the only Passion I have left, is Envy of the Pleasure You enjoy in living so near B.G. 3 –Remind the Dr. and his Lady 4 of my sincere friendship, Mr. Putnam and his Lady, 5 [Col. Gardiner] and his Lady 6 of the same and Betsy Green, of the sighs, Wishes, Hart Ach, Hopes, Fears, that in spig [ht] of the vain Boast of stoical Tranqui [li] ty, above expressed, continually attend the Remembrance of her.
[Pr] ay let me know < e–er long > with [in] this 12 months, whether you live, as I am at this present Writing, and whether you remember me, or not. Oh Lethe, either Spare my friends, or drown me and my friends together, for I will not bear to entertain a fruitless Remembrance of them, after they have quite forgotten me.–Adieu, write to me, as soon as you [can?] .
J.A.